market folly

Let's face it, many hedge funds follow a seemingly standard equation for naming their firm.  As such, we thought it would be fun to create an exercise: how to name your hedge fund.

Naming your hedge fund can be boiled down to a very simple formula:


Step 1.  Based on past precedent, your firm should be named after one of the following:

- Predatory animals. Real world examples: Tiger Management, Lion Fund. Suggested: Honey Badger Partners, because honey badgers don't give a shit.

- A tree (preferably a big one).  Ex: Oaktree, Lone Pine, Sequoia, Fir Tree.  Available: The Entire Rainforest LLC.

- Some type of rock or stone. Ex: BlackRock, BlackStone.  Options: F'n Massive Mountain Management, Tiny Pebble Partners 

- Character or place from books/stories/shows.  Ex. Atticus Capital, Valinor Management.  Suggestions: Cobra Commander Capital, Ninja Turtle Associates.  And for Seinfeld fans: Art Vandelay Capital Partners.

- Geographic Locations/Regions. Ex: Pershing Square Capital, Blue Ridge.  Possibilities: Egyptian Pyramind Scheme Partners, Arctic Circle Capital

- Bodies of water and bridges are also very popular. Ex: Pine River, SkyBridge.  OR you can combine them together for an uber-bonus: Bridgewater.  Unfortunately, WaterBridge is also taken.  Perhaps just combine them all: Stream Creek River Lake Ocean Bridge Associates.

- Historical figures/civilizations.  Ex: Argonaut Capital, Viking Global.  Available: Ming Dynasty Management, Honest Abe Advisors 

- Manager's name/initials.  The obvious: SAC Capital, Soros Management, Tudor Investment.  Possibilities: Stalin Securities, Not That Madoff Capital

- Greek Mythology/Greek Words.  Ex: Cerberus, Kynikos,  Suggested: Beard of Zeus Capital, Toga Partners

- Something that has no relevance to what you're doing (bonus points for words that people struggle to pronounce).  Options: Floccinaucinihilipilification Fund, Onomatopoeia Partners, Jai Alai Holdings

- Some type of castle or fort.  Ex: Citadel, Knight's Bridge.  Available: Hogwarts Holdings


Step 2.  Add one of the following to help describe what the firm does  (because let's face it, the name you just picked above has nothing to do with investing): Capital, Partners, Capital Partners, Advisors, Holdings, Capital Management, Asset Management, Investment Management, Funds, Associates, Securities, Trust, etc.


Step 3.  Tack on either LLC or LP at the end of the name, depending on whether it's the management company or the limited partnership.

And voila, you have a hedge fund name that will blend in seamlessly.   


If you have difficulty coming up with the perfect name, you can always turn to hedgefundnamegenerator.com.  Yes, that's a real thing.  It automatically spits out a random combination using the same formula outlined above.  Here are some of the names it generated for us:

- Solid Road Management: obviously to let investors know there will be NO bumps along the way

- Brown Tree Capital: not redundant at all

- Winter Field: no "Capital" or "Partners" at the end.  Just Winter Field.

- Yellow Brick Road Associates: OK, it actually was just Yellow Road Associates, but given the ridiculousness of some of the other names it generated, it might as well have been Yellow Brick Road.

This post has been all in good fun.  What are some of the ridiculous hedge fund names you've come across?  Let us know in the comments below!